Scattered Thoughts for Thanksgiving Weekend

I had good intentions of blogging more regularly, but quickly realized that I couldn’t figure out what my blog is “about” anymore. Sure, I’m all about sharing my life’s voyage with all of you, my dear readers …. its ups and downs, its craziness, its beautiful, quiet moments. Many of you have been reading since my Professeur Gothique days and have seen me grow and change, struggle and soar, and become more of who I am. It’s been 9 years of blogging, from Professeur Gothique to The Dancing Maenad to The Curious Professor Z.

When many of you first “met” me I was still a PhD student and didn’t pass my oral exams yet. I was teaching as an adjunct instructor at various local colleges and my days were spent studying, researching, writing, teaching and grading. The focus of my blog then was to showcase Goth fashion and lifestyle from an academic’s point of view — how does one navigate graduate school and professional life (without tenure) while being Goth? Of course, my blog slowly transformed into something more as I transformed into someone more. Fashion stopped being the sole focus as I started to feature a wide array of topics such as gardening, cooking, sewing and knitting, music, academia, and art. I invited you into my life and took you, dear readers, on a wild journey. Through this blog we traveled together, celebrated Halloween with gusto, embarked on Bat Fit — a heath and fitness “movement,” did monthly “Homework Assignments” and joined Miss Kitty’s (Sophistique Noir) monthly blog challenges, mourned my dear, sweet mother, concocted the “Modern Gal’s Ration Project,” got my first, real full-time teaching gig, and moved to Texas and back again, mourned Ed’s father, and had a hysterectomy! We did a LOT of living — and growing — in those 9 years, let me tell you!

Through it all my style remained rooted in Goth, which was slowly modified into a retro-vintage flair. It all started with Gothabilly and morphed into experiments with 40s and 50s styles. These days you can find me sporting outfits inspired by the 1920s. I’ve had an Instagram follower recently call me “Deco Goth,” a term I really like. You can also find me in leggings and tunics without much makeup, but that’s something I’d like to change. In Texas, I sort of “gave up” and bought a crap load of LuLuRoe leggings and big shirts. The heat and culture … and my weight gain … really harpooned my style. Let’s just say Texas and my job wasn’t good for my health or personal well-being. I mean seriously? LuLuRoe? I know there are devotees, but me? Come on now! What the hell?

And here we are: 9 years later and I’m desperately trying to resuscitate this blog without any clear direction or purpose. 2019 is going to bring a brand new career journey and, hopefully, health and contentment. I’m finally back on Bat Fit after having surgery in June. My goal is to be back down to 195 by the end of the summer, something that’s more than doable. I’m working on my mental and emotional health, and making good progress with both. I’m getting back to my regular cooking and meal planning — something that will be easier in the summer when my garden is in full swing. Yup, I have the space and the permission to plant a vegetable garden! WAHOO! I love my apartment and I’m thrilled to be back home in NYC. I’m knitting again, and hope to pick up drawing and painting in the new year. As for fashion, we’ll see where I am in a few weeks. Honestly, I’m embarrassed that I gained back all of my weight and that I seriously stopped caring about how I dressed, especially when I lived in Texas. Teaching solely online hasn’t helped one bit! I’m lucky if I get out of my pajamas.

There’s a lot of content here, but the question is whether anyone will care? Or maybe that’s the point — for whom am I blogging? Myself or others? And that leaves the ultimate question, what’s the point of blogging these days? With Instagram and Snapchat grabbing the attention of folks, who really wants to spend the time reading a verbose blog when they can just look at the pretty pictures on those other social media sites?

I honestly don’t have answers to these questions, except one: I’m blogging mostly for myself these days. I’m going to write about what interests me, as I usually do. I can’t guarantee that you’ll learn anything, so if you’re looking how to be Goth in your late 40s or make-up tips for aging skin, you’re in the wrong place. You might learn a thing or two about art, cooking, gardening, knitting screw ups — I’m good at those, camping, NYC, and random weirdness. You’ll definitely be taken on a wild and woolly ride through 2019 and hopefully beyond.

So, here’s to random, scattered thoughts on a cloudy Saturday afternoon. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready for the VNV Nation show. Until next time!




  18 comments for “Scattered Thoughts for Thanksgiving Weekend

  1. Lainey
    24 Nov 2018 at 8:13 pm

    I’ll be happy to continue to read your thoughts for as long as you are willing to share them. Just wanted to send out some positive vibes.


    • 26 Nov 2018 at 10:47 am

      Thanks Lainey, I really appreciate this and your positive vibes.


  2. 25 Nov 2018 at 9:49 am

    Yes, blogs haven’t been the “hot” social media format for at least 15 years now but I still prefer blogs over all other kinds of social media. Bloggers tend to be people who like to write and blog followers tend to be people who like to read. Call us old-fashioned, but still . . . .


    • 26 Nov 2018 at 10:48 am

      Aw, I like to be old fashioned! Hugs!


  3. 25 Nov 2018 at 9:55 am

    Random thought blogs are the best! I love seeing all aspects of people and really have never seen any proof that “oversharing” exists. People are fascinating, and you are no exception ❤


    • 26 Nov 2018 at 10:48 am

      Thanks my friend! (((HUGS)))


  4. Jenna
    25 Nov 2018 at 12:44 pm

    I agreed with Debra, I will always read. I have the gram, but only so I can look at the pretty pictures of people who mainly blog about fashion, so theres nothing really worth reading. You are a different cup of tea, I will still be here.


    • 26 Nov 2018 at 10:49 am

      Hi Jenna! I must be a weirdo — I love food-based Instagrams. HA! Thanks!


  5. Trystan
    25 Nov 2018 at 2:51 pm

    I love the random thoughts & I enjoy blogging that’s for oneself 🙂 I don’t comment here much — prob. bec. my own life has exploded. But I always read! Love to hear from you, whatever you’re up to & into, my friend 🙂


    • 26 Nov 2018 at 10:51 am

      Thanks Trystan. I’m on such a wild ride right now and 2019 is going to be interesting, that’s for sure. Here’s to new adventures, my friend!


  6. Stephanie
    26 Nov 2018 at 10:34 am

    I absolutely love your blog and I love seeing into your life. It’s been such an honor to go along with you as you live your life and learn. It has helped me understand and accept that I don’t have to be perfectly settled and have life figured out at 32 just because I’m an adult. It is perfectly okay and acceptable to continue growing and learning and changing. Thank you for sharing your life!


    • 27 Nov 2018 at 10:06 am

      Wow! Thanks Stephanie! I honestly believe that folks should only be “completely settled” when they’re dead. That’s when they stop moving, growing, and learning … in theory at least. Onwards and upwards.


  7. 26 Nov 2018 at 11:10 pm

    “I’m blogging for mostly for myself these days.”

    I think that’s the key – that’s why we’re all here. To read a thoughtfully crafted sneak-peak into your life, concerning whatever YOU may think is worthy of writing about at the moment. That’s it! The focus is…you!

    When I browse online, it’s to scratch the itch to read stories, words, thoughts…. not to scroll through endless curated, filtered pictures. Those get real old, real repetitive, real fast.

    I don’t think a blog NEEDS to have a theme or a focus. Really, we’re here to read your lovely, smart, endearing thoughts. We’re here to read about YOU.

    I was scared this was going to be a ‘goodbye to blogging’ post, but I’m overjoyed to see you’ll be continuing to blog – really, to write from your heart – and share your most curious life with all of us loyal readers!


    • 27 Nov 2018 at 10:11 am

      Aww, thanks Laura! I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately, as you can probably tell. Leaving academia for a more quiet and cloistered life in preservation and conservation has required me to ask myself some difficult questions, specifically what’s my purpose in this life and in art history. I’m getting too old to produce “fluff,” and that’s why I started to think about my blog and why I blog. Is it fluff? I don’t think so … but then again, isn’t some fluff fun? I know, it’s complicated.

      As for leaving blogging, I enjoy it too much to really let go of it. Combining it with my Instagram — as you see in the right column — will allow me to focus more on writing and less on visual fillers. 🙂


  8. 27 Nov 2018 at 10:43 am

    Love to read about whatever thoughts you wish to write about at any given moment. 💜


    • 27 Dec 2018 at 10:57 am

      Thanks Lynne! I think now that the year is coming to an end, with it all sorts of old goals and endeavors, I can focus on blogging more.


  9. 11 Dec 2018 at 7:45 am

    It’s funny, some of the stuff you blog about, cooking and teaching don’t really fall into my interests but I’ve always loved your writing style and voice, it’s welcoming and friendly. I’ve found the same thing with other blogs, I’ll pick them up or drop them based on their voice regardless of what they post about.


    • 27 Dec 2018 at 10:59 am

      Wow! Thanks Stefanie! My voice, huh? You know, sometimes I think that’s my problem with academic writing: it lacks the flow and welcoming quality of my normal writing style. Someone suggested that I start a Podcast or try writing for a non-academic audience. I’m seriously considering it. Thanks for this.


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