I had good intentions of blogging more regularly, but quickly realized that I couldn’t figure out what my blog is “about” anymore. Sure, I’m all about sharing my life’s voyage with all of you, my dear readers …. its ups and downs, its craziness, its beautiful, quiet moments. Many of you have been reading since my Professeur Gothique days and have seen me grow and change, struggle and soar, and become more of who I am. It’s been 9 years of blogging, from Professeur Gothique to The Dancing Maenad to The Curious Professor Z.
When many of you first “met” me I was still a PhD student and didn’t pass my oral exams yet. I was teaching as an adjunct instructor at various local colleges and my days were spent studying, researching, writing, teaching and grading. The focus of my blog then was to showcase Goth fashion and lifestyle from an academic’s point of view — how does one navigate graduate school and professional life (without tenure) while being Goth? Of course, my blog slowly transformed into something more as I transformed into someone more. Fashion stopped being the sole focus as I started to feature a wide array of topics such as gardening, cooking, sewing and knitting, music, academia, and art. I invited you into my life and took you, dear readers, on a wild journey. Through this blog we traveled together, celebrated Halloween with gusto, embarked on Bat Fit — a heath and fitness “movement,” did monthly “Homework Assignments” and joined Miss Kitty’s (Sophistique Noir) monthly blog challenges, mourned my dear, sweet mother, concocted the “Modern Gal’s Ration Project,” got my first, real full-time teaching gig, and moved to Texas and back again, mourned Ed’s father, and had a hysterectomy! We did a LOT of living — and growing — in those 9 years, let me tell you!
Through it all my style remained rooted in Goth, which was slowly modified into a retro-vintage flair. It all started with Gothabilly and morphed into experiments with 40s and 50s styles. These days you can find me sporting outfits inspired by the 1920s. I’ve had an Instagram follower recently call me “Deco Goth,” a term I really like. You can also find me in leggings and tunics without much makeup, but that’s something I’d like to change. In Texas, I sort of “gave up” and bought a crap load of LuLuRoe leggings and big shirts. The heat and culture … and my weight gain … really harpooned my style. Let’s just say Texas and my job wasn’t good for my health or personal well-being. I mean seriously? LuLuRoe? I know there are devotees, but me? Come on now! What the hell?
And here we are: 9 years later and I’m desperately trying to resuscitate this blog without any clear direction or purpose. 2019 is going to bring a brand new career journey and, hopefully, health and contentment. I’m finally back on Bat Fit after having surgery in June. My goal is to be back down to 195 by the end of the summer, something that’s more than doable. I’m working on my mental and emotional health, and making good progress with both. I’m getting back to my regular cooking and meal planning — something that will be easier in the summer when my garden is in full swing. Yup, I have the space and the permission to plant a vegetable garden! WAHOO! I love my apartment and I’m thrilled to be back home in NYC. I’m knitting again, and hope to pick up drawing and painting in the new year. As for fashion, we’ll see where I am in a few weeks. Honestly, I’m embarrassed that I gained back all of my weight and that I seriously stopped caring about how I dressed, especially when I lived in Texas. Teaching solely online hasn’t helped one bit! I’m lucky if I get out of my pajamas.
There’s a lot of content here, but the question is whether anyone will care? Or maybe that’s the point — for whom am I blogging? Myself or others? And that leaves the ultimate question, what’s the point of blogging these days? With Instagram and Snapchat grabbing the attention of folks, who really wants to spend the time reading a verbose blog when they can just look at the pretty pictures on those other social media sites?
I honestly don’t have answers to these questions, except one: I’m blogging mostly for myself these days. I’m going to write about what interests me, as I usually do. I can’t guarantee that you’ll learn anything, so if you’re looking how to be Goth in your late 40s or make-up tips for aging skin, you’re in the wrong place. You might learn a thing or two about art, cooking, gardening, knitting screw ups — I’m good at those, camping, NYC, and random weirdness. You’ll definitely be taken on a wild and woolly ride through 2019 and hopefully beyond.
So, here’s to random, scattered thoughts on a cloudy Saturday afternoon. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready for the VNV Nation show. Until next time!