Bat Fit

Bat Fit 2017 Kick Off Grand Finale

Hello everyone! Hello! First and foremost, I have to apologize that this Grand Finale is two days late. I came down with a major creeping crud that completely knocked me out of commission. I spent part of Saturday and all of Sunday in bed with a fever, a horrible rattling cough, and weakness in the limbs. I never get this sick, so it’s big deal that I spent my weekend in bed and not finishing the Bat Fit Kick Off or unpacking.

I’ll admit, I had a completely different post planned for the Grand Finale. I was going to post about the importance of seeing a medical professional to discuss your Bat Fit goals and how to make your medical professional a member of your “Health Team.” As I sat there sick in bed in a new town without a new doctor yet, I felt somewhat hypocritical. I haven’t seen my doctor since last April and I’m definitely due for blood work and a thyroid check up. However, I need to find a new PCP, ObGyn, and dentist before I do anything. Hell, I need to find a new hair stylist for cripes sake! Being sick this weekend made me realize that finding new doctors is a priority this month.

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It also made me realize that I tend to ignore my body’s cries for rest and comfort. As I wrote in my Relax post, I’m awful when it comes to giving myself permission to take a break. I instantly feel guilty and look for important things to fill my downtime. I also realized that I’m absolutely atrocious at cutting myself some slack. I will admit, I felt awful that I didn’t post the Grand Finale when promised because I felt like I dropped the ball … again. I felt like I let everyone down because I was in bed instead of posting the Finale.

I do this all the time. Just recently it came to my attention that I have two emails for my new job — my “universal” email and my “department” email. I had no idea that the department email was linked to the listservs and was used to disseminate important information for the department and school. I don’t remember if I was told this and forgot, or if I was never told this. Needless to say, I missed A LOT of important emails — 349 to be exact. Instead of cutting myself some slack because I’m new faculty who taught remotely last semester, I’m beating myself up about it. I’m embarrassed and horrified, wondering if this will reflect on my overall performance. I’m blaming myself for not being more on the ball. I keep saying to myself that “I should have known …” Why in the world should I have know this is beyond me! I’m new here and I wasn’t on campus. It’s not like I could have gone into someone’s office to ask about the emails I wasn’t receiving.

This challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to cut yourself some slack. I’ll admit, this is going to be difficult for me … probably more difficult than relaxing. I’m an obsessive control freak who deals with anxiety issues — cutting myself some slack and not beating myself up for things out of my control has been almost impossible throughout my life. I claim responsibility for everything, even if I didn’t do it or if it’s out of my control. I tend to apologize for everything, even if it doesn’t warrant an apology. And I definitely cut other people more slack than I do myself. It’s time to stop beating myself up. It’s time to admit that I just didn’t know about the damned email and that I’ve been really sick. That’s all. Accept it or don’t accept it, it’s up to you. I just finished a really stressful semester teaching remotely. I packed up my whole life and moved 1600 miles to Texas. There were bumps and things didn’t always work as planned. And now I’m here in my new place organizing my classes, writing my syllabi, and trying to catch up with everything I missed in those emails. I deserve some slack.

How about you?

9 thoughts on “Bat Fit 2017 Kick Off Grand Finale”

  1. I understand it’s a situation you may be beating yourself up about, but it really wasn’t your fault. If you’re anything like me you could seek out all concerned parties a second time to reaffirm that it was a temporary system glitch, just to calm yourself.

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    1. Apparently, I wasn’t the only new hire who was never told about this other email. The folks in the business office “forgot” to tell us. It’s ok, even though I missed out on three really cool opportunities. Aw, well. Next year.

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  2. I think during this post you’ve highlighted that we are our hardest and worst enemies. I know from personal experience how hard it is but to chill out and to cut yourself a break. I wish I had your aptitude to complete even half of the things you’ve done. You’ve worked hard Odin only know how much you’ve endured and completed it’s been an immense few years.

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  3. I realized it’s a waste of time to beat myself up over things I can’t control. I focus on the things I can control and on what actions I’m able to take to improve things. I don’t apologize when I ‘ve done nothing wrong, it makes people think I’m actually guilty of something. You couldn’t post yesterday, but you did today! And you lost the emails, but from now on you’ll know to check on both emails! You’ll listen to your body more and give it the chance to relax so you don’t get that sick again.

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    1. Thanks so much for this! I know that I need to calm down and be logical about things. Unfortunately, anxiety runs in the family and it’s a burden that I actively fight every day. Like you said, it’s a learning process. That’s what life is all about: LEARNING! WAHOO!

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  4. I’m terribly behind on reading blogs so I’m just catching up… I have to say WHAT IN THE WORLD! A workplace with two emails?!? Of course you weren’t aware. This doesn’t even make sense! Gah! One email account is enough… such ends my little tantrum. Yep, I’m with you on cutting yourself some slack. Now I need to go repeat that while looking in the mirror.

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